Dormmates- Living With Others Can Be Tough

On Campus Living: A Different Dynamic

Growing up,

 most of us lived with people very much like us: our families. After many years of living together, we adapted to habits of our family members, even if they were different than our own habits. After all, these people were our families. We had to get along with each other.

Living on campus offers a different social dynamic. The people you live with now are, most likely, not the people you will be living with for the rest of your life. While some students do develop lifelong relationships with their college roommates, others live

Although college living experiences are temporary, they offer students many different avenues for personal growth and understanding, and for building interpersonal skills which will help them build relationships after their college years have passed.

Understanding Differences

Living with persons who have different habits and customs can be an educational experience. Sharing differences with one another can lay the foundation for greater understanding of different religions, cultures, lifestyles, customs and traditions. The workforce of the new millennium will demand a greater understanding of the diversity of lifestyles, customs and ways of communicating, because technology has made it easier to link persons and companies across the world, with nothing more than a personal computer. Seen in this context, living with persons who have different customs and lifestyles can offer students practical preparation for the workforce of tomorrow.

Not Getting Along With Your Roommates?

Here are some things you might try.

Talk To Them Yourself.

This answer may seem a bit too easy, but surprisingly, it is often an option that people avoid. It is easy to let problems go, until they seem so large that talking about them is intimidating. While it may be hard to approach your roommate if he/she is doing something which bother you, it will usually help move the problem toward resolution. On the other hand, if you don’t tell your roommate that something is bothering you, he or she may not know that you are bothered, and might continue to do the thing which bothers you. Even worse, if you seem annoyed at the behavior, he or she may misread this annoyance as animosity toward him/her. When this happens, it becomes very difficult to re-open the lines of communication.

Mediation

Mediation services are usually offered through your school’s Residence Life staff. Mediation is a process where all parties involved in a dispute agree to meet with a third party, who listens to all sides of the dispute, and attempts to help the parties reach an agreement among themselves. To arrange a mediation, see your Resident Assistant or Community Assistant, or call the Office of Residence Life for your campus housing area.

Ground rules for the discussion are agreed upon at the beginning of the mediation, and each party is allowed to state his/her side of the dispute, without being interrupted. Then the parties suggest possible solutions to the dispute. The mediator may ask questions of the parties during the mediation, to help them suggest alternatives. Mediation is typically a give-and-take type of situation. Each party usually must make some type of concession to another party, in order for a solution to be achieved. The process does not always give each party a perfect solution. The emphasis is on peaceful compromise. If an agreement is made, it is usually put in writing, and signed by the parties involved, and the mediator signs as a witness. The original copy of the agreement is generally kept on file with the mediator for the term the disputing parties live together. The agreement is binding among the parties, and the terms must be followed by all the parties. Should a party violate the agreement, he or she would be asked to meet with the Resident Director, Area Coordinator, or another appropriate member of the Residence Life staff. If the other parties wish, another mediation can be held. The staff member would also discuss room change options with the person, if the problem could not be resolved. shuttle mediation